Pizza Forensics…

Our possessions have been tessellated, the vacuum packing has been done, our car loaded and unloaded more times than I wish to remember. We’ve checked and re-checked rooms for things left behind, we’ve wiped, scrubbed and mopped everything possible. Sometimes when I’m about to sleep I hear the whine of the hoover that was run over the floors, I feel like I’ve more mileage on the hoover than my car. But it is finally done. I have moved out of the house I shared with the Geeks.

The relief at only having one more major task this summer has filled me with sleepy relief. Tiredness which I hadn’t felt for maybe 2 days of cleaning, moving, driving and a few hours of babysitting, has finally kicked in. But this peaceful living could only carry on so long before evil ex-landlord steps in. I not only cleaned the house with 4 out of my 6 house mates, I felt it was so clean we could eat off the floors, which previously would have resulted in our untimely demise. So the phone call today was most unwelcome.

3rd July – The landlord came, inspected the house, said it was “the cleanest he had ever seen it”.

5th July – The landlord calls, expects us to pay for professional cleaners to re-clean the house.

Strange, I didn’t realise that the house had secret residents which apparently, placed a slice of pizza behind the dishwasher that was fitted flush to the wall. I know it wasn’t us. I lived with people who didn’t pull out appliances to hide their pizza. I know this because the hiding place for pizza was in the pizza boxes stacked in the living room. So if it wasn’t us, it must have been the previous tenants, who lived there 2 years ago. Either the landlord is a forensic scientist specialising in the breakdown of pizza or one of the Geeks decided to move the unmovable dishwasher and stash some pizza behind it, in case the new tenants got hungry?

It’s all pretty laughable so far! You’d think the landlord would be manly enough to go behind the dishwasher and grab the pizza. Nope. He hires in professional cleaners, and decides to collectively charge us £180 for this service. Now between 6 that’s approximately £30 a piece, might as well pay it right? Wrong. I’m going to get this guy to admit he’s lying, and we’re going to get our full deposit back. Just because we are students doesn’t mean we can just be pushed around, and he’s picked the wrong one to push around! He doesn’t know it yet, predominantly due to my PMT causing me to be a little upset when he was discussing my cleaning skills with me, but he’s about to get some wrath.


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